I Quit. I walked out on a job that I held very dear to me. I left a profession that I had worked hard to become part of. I cried. I still wish there had been an alternative. I loved being a teacher but it was making me very ill.
I am a teacher, I say that because in my heart I will always be a teacher, I loved teaching. I like spending time in the company of my students. Young people inspire and energise me. They have more hope and vision than anyone else, anything is possible when your a teenager. OK, not every encounter was fun, some kids just hate everything to do with school and that especially means teachers and they will do what ever they can to kick hard against the system, but on the whole kids want to be good.
And ,also on the whole, teachers are good folks who teach for the right reasons and do a great job. I never got my head round those teachers who hated kids, who treated all with contempt and maintained an air of menace to maintain their authority. It always seemed to me that they liked to intimidate kids because they are bully’s but fortunately they are few and far between. Their classrooms were always well behaved but devoid of creativity or inspiration.
Education is the worst profession for “The Emporers New Clothes Syndrome”. The process of throwing out established practice for the next big thing is constant. Government is largely to blame for this as the eternal game throwing out what the last administration put in place and replacing it with your own ideology seems to never change. It takes years to establish working courses, new qualifications and to get exams in place. then along come the other lot and throw it out. Add to that the new and sometimes bizarre theories and ideas put forward by consultants, experts and school leaders and you find that you have to chuck out two years of work as soon as you have got it finished because the rules have changed. AGAIN.
School leadership puzzled me at times. It was clear they could see staff crumpling under pressure but their only response was to add more things to do, new initiatives, more stress. Instead of targeted responses to areas of concern broad brush approaches were used and that made sure everyone was burdened with an even greater workload.
OFSTED is the big problem though, or rather the threat of OFSTED. They are the bogey man, the wicked, cruel, spiteful bully that could swoop in at any moment and take us all to hell in a handcart, or at least give our school a negative inspection result.
I went through 3 inspections during my 10 year career as a teacher and each time the “post match” staff meeting was a pantomime, leadership telling us the unofficial result and behaving as if we had got away with it. Somehow we had managed to hide our failings and pulled the wool over their eyes. It was as if the inspectors had only seen the bits we wanted them to see. Tee Hee!
There seemed to be a game played by leadership to see if they could find out what the inspectors wanted in advance. of course all the criteria are published for all to see so it should be straightforward but there were always rumors and half truths circulating.
“They need a fully annotated lesson plan”,,”in triplicate”,”and colour”
“They must have proof that you know the name of every pupil premium child in every class and the reason they are PP”.
“You must have a seating plan for every class with all students who are performing above or below target identified”
And sure enough these half truths became requirements set out by the leadership team to be checked on to make sure you have a pack with all this stuff in at hand just in case they walk in tomorrow.
When you train its important to plan all lessons in micro detail, timings, content outcome all need identifying. Its how you learn. When you are observed a plan is expected so the observer, your line manager or a mamber of SLT, can see what you are trying to achieve. But, whisper it, the rest of the time, while you create resources and work towards objectives, plans are usually a few notes in a diary or notepad.
Foe an OFSTED inspection all lessons are planned. In minute detail. resources are coming out the woodwork. The kids know its a farce, SLT know its a farce and, most important of all, OFTED know its a farce. Everyone accepts that no one has the time to create detailed plans for every lesson. So what they see is every schools best attempt at being perfect for one, two or three days, depending on the type of inspection.
The things that make a difference in school are long term and well managed.All inspections do is satisfy the government that someone is keeping an eye on things.
I left due to stress which was causing depression. I had been on medication for five years for my low mood. I stopped the day I left school and , whilst not everything is completely rosy, I am much better and my wife tells me the husband she met 30 years ago is back and the dull, monochrome one on anti depressants has gone.
The school where I worked has a new headteacher now and I hear that he is doing his best to protect his staff from the external pressures and to let them work at being the great teachers that most of them are. I hope he can make their lives happier than mine was.
I would love to go back full time into the classroom, to work with those inspiring kids but I wont because I know the bullshit that surrounds the job would put me back where I was a year ago and nothing is worth that.
Musings on Life 